It is almost a guarantee. The more children you have, the greater the chances that you will have at least one. No matter how hard you profess The Name of Christ throughout the halls of your own home. By both word and example. No matter how hard you may pray. No matter what heavenly voices traverse through the corridors. Even of one hundred sheep, one will leave the 99 behind under the care of The Shepherd.

We have seen it publicly with The Duggar Family. The stars that captivated the world in a love/hate relationship with their show “19 Kids and Counting”. Led by parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, we were introduced to a large family that made any name that started with the letter “J” popular. And they probably exhausted every option of those names in the process. We witnessed young men and boys in khakis and polo shirts, as well as young ladies in khaki skirts and polos as well. Modest dress. Neatly combed hair. Hair bows. Crockpots. We were introduced to the idea of courting instead of modern dating. Of the self sufficiency of a family that worked for themselves and trained their children to work for themselves, as well as reproduce like rabbits. We even learned that the appropriate name for deviled eggs are in fact “angel eggs”. “How do they do it?” everyone asked as we would diligently tune in to find out. Whether it would be for Christian inspiration, or to find an excuse to hate them. Their inspiration became a network for large families. Many followed their example. We had met many large families inspired by the “quiverful” movement and the teachings of Bill Gothard. They too inspired us as we decided to keep our family size open until God made the decision to end our ability to have children. Which has come and gone. In total we have five living children. If you combine them with our miscarriages and our precious Abigail, we have ten children. We are friends with many families that have a considerable amount more than us. So, yes, the Duggar family has had a major influence on large families that choose to be devoted and rooted in a strong faith in Christ. They were the quintessential example.

And then along came their oldest son, Josh. A man that married a daughter from another large family. They wasted no time in rabbit reproducing. Yet, even as a young family, something had come to light that no one would have ever imagined. The sexual abuse of younger sisters. The cheating on Anna. The account with a popular adultery website. The pornography. Scandal had forever scarred and tarnished the legacy of this once “squeaky clean” Christian family. And then, recently, we were reintroduced to Joseph Duggar. Yet, not in that squeaky clean fashion that we once knew. Embroiled in legal troubles that involved sexually assaulting a minor is he. The media enjoys trashing the Duggar name and dragging the parents through the mud. So they, as well as The Unredeemed, ate this up like they were at Golden Corral. Now, I am not defending either son. They must face justice for their sins. But their fall from Grace is the “evidence” that The Heathens use to prove that “God is dead” and that “ALL Christians are hypocrites”.

You may recall from my blog post a while back, “Don’t Look Now (But Satan Is In The Pew Behind You”, that I had mentioned a family that had broken from our former Independent Fundamental Baptist Church and its teachings. A large family with many teenage and young adult children. A family that sat just a few pews in front of ours, on the side of the church near the exit. It is almost as if they would spend their Sundays looking through those doors, wanting to know what was outside. Yearning for the other side. A wanton desire for what The World has to offer as opposed to the words that Pastor spoke. Words derived from The Word of God. When the family left the church, it was the falling pillar that caused the collapse of it all. Everything was called into question. In time The Deacons of the church sided with the family. Our Leadership Team (as I referred to as “The Men”) sided with the family as well. I, who was also a member of The Men, had pointed out the irony of this family turning against our pastor and that their accusations against him should be taken with a grain of salt. Because, unlike The Men, I had access to this family on social media. I overheard conversations. I knew that they were turning against our church and pursuing The World. I was treated as a fool because, since I was the youngest member of the team and had been a member of the church for far less than they, what did I know? Naive I was. 

In short time, after this family’s departure, the fruit was laid out for all to witness. The marriages of the young adults turned into divorces. Modest young ladies were taking selfies with little to the imagination. Some were sporting their favorite beer in photos with their live in boyfriends. Children were born out of wedlock. Cohabitation and evidence of fornication were proudly on display. It was heartbreaking to see what had become of this family. I wondered when I had seen photos of all of this that included the Mom and Dad, were they smiling because they approved of their children’s fall from Grace? Or was it a mask to hide away the sorrow and heartbreak that their children leaving the fold had caused? Did their children fall from Grace? Or did they remain in an alternate form of Faith? One that approves of debauchery and tickles the ears? Years later I had met with one of the former deacons to clear the air between us. Even then he had to acknowledge the fall of this family that he once defended to the point of the church locking its doors for one final time.

I know of a young man as I write this paragraph. He was homeschooled, brought up in a Christian family, attends church, the usual. Raised on Biblical teachings and worldviews. Worship music and hymns fill the air of his home. But The Enemy knows the weakness in his heart. First, he discovered The Smartphone. A world of debauchery and lust laid at his fingertips. Every waking moment of his day he connects to disconnect. Then his life began outside of the boundaries of his home. Real Life in The Real World. Ungodly people and influence came into his life. People that just assumed that he was just as spiritually dead and jaded as they. He had always been weak spiritually. He always would glance out the door at the other side. But that was the opening that The Enemy needed when he brought these weights into his life that sought to drag him down into their pit. Now he has no interest in God. No desire for godly music. No desire for The Word. No desire for Christ. No desire for Holiness. No desire for Repentance. No desire for the Salvation that he once claimed. Now he just sits in church, sketching on the bulletin as the boring words are spoken. Yearning for the day that Time permits him to become of age, that he can declare freedom from his parents rule and leave The Church on his own terms.

When I began writing this post months ago, I sought out to answer the questions. “What do you do with a Prodigal Son?”, or “How do you prevent a Prodigal Son?”. I wrote paragraph upon paragraph attempting to answer my own questions. And no paragraph could solve the problem. In many times my own words made no sense to me. I got frustrated and abandoned the argument. Then, as I prepared myself to go work for the man this morning, the answer came to me…

There is nothing that you can do.

At least not actively.

Ultimately the choice he or she makes is out of your control. No matter how much you show them The Cross. As the saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink!”

A question was proposed some time ago in a Facistbook group about the previous young man and his sinful behaviors with Smartphone. The response in the group was to take his phone away. Unfortunately, he needs his phone because it is a tool for his job. So the next response was to have him removed from his job. As The Christ said, pluck out the right eye and remove the right hand. Simple enough. I suppose that if our children become addicted to Smartphone, we can take it away. I suppose if they get too unruly, we can lock them in their bedroom. If they escape then I suppose we can put them into shackles. However, at the end of the day, does that solve anything? Does taking away the Sin that their wicked heart hungers for break them of it? Or does it cause them to hate us even more? Yearning for the day that they can leave and never look back? Such desperate actions by the parents only burn the bridges of hope that will lead them back. Remember, our previous young man only goes to church because his parents make him. Once he is free, he will physically leave. Because his heart has already checked out. You cannot keep them locked in their room forever.

“A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood.  And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.”

-Jesus, from The Gospel of Luke

What dawned on me and inspired me to dust off this abandoned blog post was that I was thinking of the story about The Prodigal Son. In that familiar story, we see a son that has set his sights on The World on the other side of the walls of his father’s house. He demands his inheritance that he may set out onto his own path. Feeding his own wants and desires. Evidently, he had it all figured out. And his father still breathing was what was holding him back. But, what was remarkable was how his father responded. He did not say “No! You must wait until I die”. He did not lock him into his room until his son came to his senses. He simply gave his son what he had desired.

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father…’ And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’”

-Jesus, from The Gospel of Luke

In the father’s wisdom and experience, he knew where his son was going. He knew what was on the other side of the wall. He lived enough years to be a generation ahead of his son. To have seen that path and what becomes of men that traverse it. Therefore, the father waited. He watched every day. All day. Every time he passed the path that led his son away, he looked. Every now and then his heart would race as a figure walked on the horizon. “Is that him?” he would gasp. Every bump in the night had him wondering if that was him coming in. Then disappointment would set in. Until, one day, he saw a man coming his way. At first, maybe he was hesitant that it was truly his son. Because he had been heartbroken so many times before. Then his aging eyes recognized his flesh and blood. We know the rest of the story. 

As filthy as swine were to the Jews, he did not hesitate to embrace his son who was stained by the same slop that he had come to the end of himself in. He realized that The World had left him desolate. And the son realized it as well.

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

-Jesus, from The Gospel of Luke

Maybe The Prodigal and his father leave us with the answer to the questions. We can create a loving home. We can pray, sing hymns, and do nightly devotions. We can attend church religiously. We can even homeschool them with a Christian worldview. But in the end, they can still stray. They can still reject Christ and His truth. In some men, the luring pleasures of The World are far too great for their hearts to protest. They must go and be of it. Curiosity is what sets them free from their home. From their family. From their upbringing. And, ultimately, from their Faith. We can only pray, wait, watch, and hope that the same curiosity will be what kills The World within them and brings them to ruin. That their broken and battered soul comes dragging itself back home. To The Father’s home where Grace, Mercy, Forgiveness, and Love reside.

My case almost seems like a lazy way to handle The Prodigal. In both trying to keep The World from finding him and luring him away, or from trying to cleanse him after he has bathed in it. Trying to force our hand to scrub away the stains that he so desperately pursues in lust. A never ending cycle that frustrates and exhausts all involved. But, as I had alluded to, it is almost inevitable that one of the sheep will stray. It is almost impossible to keep the entire flock on The Shepherd’s path. The Enemy is always lurking in the shadows of the forest. Like a hungry wolf, he seeks the one that takes his eyes from The Shepherd. He knows that that is the one that is questioning. The one that has grown weary of Faith. The one that is failing spiritually. The one that chooses to turn. 

The weakest one. 

However, as shepherds in our home, we can only do what we is asked of us by The Shepherd. We can only give our all to raise them up in the love and admonition of The Father. All, of course, accompanied with prayer and The Holy Spirit. However, we can lead them, but we cannot force them to believe. Especially once they have set out onto their own path and have to decide for themselves whether to embrace The Father’s house that they have known. Or to test the waters on the other side. The same waters that will either cause them to gasp for air and to reach out their hand in desperation. Or that will leave their lifeless body to wash up on the shore.

All that we are left to do is to watch, wait, hope, and pray.

You can lead a child to The Living Water. But you cannot make him drink.