“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

-The Prophet Isaiah

I gasp and awaken my eyes. Startled. I catch a glimpse of you walking away.

It was just moments ago, how far back I cannot remember, that you had asked me how I was. “Not well” I responded. It was then that you proceeded to beat me. I begged for mercy. I pleaded. But you were merciless. Not a care for my pain. Just a care for my usefulness to you. 

“The sun will set. Tomorrow will be a new day. By then the bleeding will cease.”

Another day had found me. You asked again “How are you doing?”. To which I responded “Not well. And I am not getting any better.” It was then that you proceeded to beat me yet again. I begged for mercy. But you were still merciless. Not a care for my pain. Just a desire to use me. I am a means to your end. A stepping stone to your mountain. The ladder that leans upon your tower.

“Tomorrow will be a new day. Hopefully you will hear me. Hopefully you will gain compassion. Hopefully the blood will dry.”

We exist together in each other’s lives for a purpose. A purpose that I do not understand. However, I am certain that God placed us here to learn a lesson about each other. About ourselves. We are iron sharpening iron. Like two rusted blades tainting each other’s veins with poison.

I opened my eyes to see your feet standing in my blood. I looked up into yours. Was that concern or did deception cover mine? Maybe it was just another lie. “I understand that you are broken. I understand that you are hurting. I understand that you desire mercy. Relief. Tell me, how are you today?”. “I am not well. Please…”. You then proceed to beat me yet again. “I know that this hurts you, but it does not hurt me. I feel nothing!” you say with each blow. I tried to shield myself but I had become too sore to move. Too weak to even try. But I know that my broken bones serve a purpose for you. They are the formation of the foundation to your Empire. This is the reason for you. This is the reason for why we coexist. But is this my purpose? My destiny? My prison until I draw my last breath? 

“Dusk has come again.”

Times like these are sent to try men’s souls. How far will this trial take me? To the edge of breaking? Or will I actually break? Shattering into dust and being carried away by the next wind? Maybe that is what it will take to escape. 

“I pray Thy will be done before it is too late.”

Dawn awakened me. Pulled me into another day. I did not open my eyes. I no longer wanted to see this. “How are you doing today?”. “Does it even matter anymore?” I responded. Wrong answer. As I laid there I began to wonder if it would ever end. If there would ever be a reprieve. But I know better. The forecast reveals that it will only get worse. The greater the pain the greater the beating. Maybe I should have responded to your question with…

 “Dead.”

I awakened in the midst of Midnight. This nightmare had awakened me from a nightmare. I realized that you were not there. It was not your time. However, it was mine. My time for Courage. My time to chase the Mercy that will not be given. I dug my fingers into the mud. The once dry dirt oversaturated by my blood, sweat, and tears. I pulled myself further and further away from my daily routine of imprisonment. I must get away. I must be gone before the sun finds me. Before he finds me. I must. I must. I must.

“A lake!”

I pulled myself in as the cool water washed the filth away. It felt refreshing upon my flesh. The buoyancy like a state of suspended animation. Like something surreal. Like a dream. Oh if only I could breathe underwater. I would hide here. Until he would give up on his search. Or until forever. Whichever came first. Quite suddenly something grabbed me by my hair and pulled me to the surface. “Where do you think you are going, boy?”. He then shoved me back under and held me there. I fought to breathe. In desperation my panic only suffocated me all the more. I grasped his hands to try to break free. But he was still much stronger than I. Still is. Then Darkness came.

I opened my eyes. He stood over me. “Do you not realize that you need me just as much as I need you? Neither one of us can live without the other. You cannot escape. You have nowhere to go. This is your life.” He then slapped me across my face and spit on me. “No beating today. I need you strong tomorrow so that you can endure the worst beating that I will ever give you. You know… for trying to find Mercy.” All I wanted was a rest. A chance to heal. For a moment. Just a taste of what could be. A chance to come up for air. But such a dream is out of my hands. I am not in control. Just under control.

There was a voice. A still small voice. Did you hear it? I know it was there. I am sure of it. Unless my situation has caused my mind to unravel.

It gave me this prophecy:

“The day will come that you will find the Strength Beyond Strength. That you will arise before this master and remind him that he does not own you. Despite what he may think. That you will stand upon solid ground with feet planted before his eyes. You will say to him ‘This will no more be. For you and I are done here.’ He will want to beat you, but he will no longer have the right. Control will be yours. You will turn the page and he will not be scripted in what you read. You will walk away as he begs you for Mercy. You will no longer be a part of his Empire. He will suffer greatly without you as his foundation falls one stone at a time. You will have no mercy on his fall. Only pity. Because he should have listened. He should have cared. But he wanted more. More at your expense. And then Freedom will find you. Mercy will chase you. Then, child, you will breathe again.”

Hope. That is all I have now as Dusk chases Dawn before me. Eventually that day will come. Where the flow will cease. Where my wounds turn to scars. To remind me of where I have been. Where I came from and, by the Mighty Hand of God, will never return. Until then, as he beats me within an inch of my life… I will take it.

With a smirk.