“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

-The Apostle Paul

Where are they?

Have they all gone? Extinct or hiding in the shadows because of The Narrative? The one that states that they are “toxic”. The one that states that the problems of this decaying world can be traced back to their feet. The one that seeks to lay them into a grave as it cries “women arise!”. That is unless they are effeminate. Unless they are a male wrapped in the shroud of a rainbow flag. Unless they are a deadbeat that leaves victims in their wake, because somehow they are the real “victim”. Celebrated they will be as long as they meet the criteria of said narrative.

But that is not who this is about. No. This is about “The Men”. Those that think that they stand. Those that pridefully believe that their character is what puts the “toxic” thorn back into the side of The Left’s Narrative and laugh as they weep about it. Those that may not realize, however, that their “men” could in fact be toxic after all. In a more subtle fashion of course. They very well could be the thorn.

Real “Men” are more than something of muscle and hair. More than something that shoots AR-15’s and drinks beer. More than something that uses tobacco and yells at the TV during sporting events. More than something that faithfully or not desires sexual relations. More than something that drives F150s and benches 300. More than something that swings a hammer and gets splinters. More than something that hunts deer and drives a Deere. More than punching in a time clock for the man.

Provide and Protect!

Real Men sacrifice. And it is a sacrifice that is slowly eroding away into Nevermore. I am not speaking of soldiers that sacrifice for the sake of their nation. I am not speaking of missionaries that sacrifice for the sake of The Gospel. Nor do I speak of firefighters, paramedics, or police officers. I am speaking of the common everyday man. The husbands. The fathers. Yet even then the aforementioned are not exempt.

Real Men understand that such a sacrifice means that a part of himself has to die. His time is no longer his time. His money is no longer his money. He knows that he is to dedicate his all to the care of others. His desires can lead to collateral damage if his steps are careless. Everything that he does, from thought to action, is to ensure the well being of those around him. One selfish move on the chessboard of Life can destroy the lives of those who love him and depend upon him for survival. Those whom he should love.

Unfortunately, our world is running out of these Men. Only boys with slouching backs and receded hairlines are becoming more of today’s norm. Their growing focus seems to be the “me”. Time and money falls victim. Selfish desires cause strains in the family realm. This, even when he believes that he is giving his all to provide for his loved ones. Sometimes his sacrifice is not good enough because it is tainted with the “me”. Sometimes it is so good that he overextends himself and thus brings the said damage to those that he is sacrificing for. Some are the aforementioned aging boys in search of pleasures. Some are men that cannot rightly command time and become nothing more than a mystery with a paycheck. 

With sacrifice there needs to be balance. Balance can be either his friend or his foe. And it is always intertwined with Time. A Man goes to his job to provide for his family. In some instances he loves what he does. In many he is miserable as he is abused day in and day out. Emotionally, physically, psychologically, and financially drained. He sacrifices himself to this burden because it is necessary. But above all it is even more necessary to give himself to his family. There are a great deal of men that do not understand this concept. They work an insane amount of hours to provide. But do they ever stop to ask “Am I losing ground with my family to provide bread or to provide for entertainment? Needs versus wants? What can we do without that I may be there for them?” Do they ever ponder if they can offer their services somewhere else that they may be visible in their home? Do they realize that when they draw their last breath that it is those that are forgotten and left behind that will grieve? A part of them will be lost forever shrouded in time stained regrets while their employer will have the desk cleared the next day for his successor. If they answered “No” or “I love my job too much to go elsewhere” then they have lost the point. Their love of work and money creates a void in their loved ones that can never be filled. You cannot buy back time. Damage done.

What about the “me” men? What about those that pursue vanity when they are not punching the clock? Chasing golf balls on the weekend, or watching someone else do it? Hanging with the boys watching touchdowns, or hiding in a man cave all day to do the same? Taking vacations with the boys, or going solo? Is it not enough damage to his family that he is gone all week slaving that he must also hide away to be with himself? That he must stay in the status of “Enigma” within his home? Sadly Time becomes his worst enemy as it ticks away into unredeemed territory. Maybe his family ponders where he is at yet again? Or maybe they never ask because to them it is natural for him to be such a mystery. It is the norm. A legacy that will visit itself unto the next generation. A breakable cycle if one is willing.

The Real Man also protects his own. Not the things passing that can be consumed by fire. That can fall victim to rust, moths, and worms. But his loved ones. He is diligent with his eyes and attention to perceived threats. This not just criminal activity and violence, but things that can destroy the hearts of those under his care. Other men with lust in their eyes. Faltering church leaders. Wicked and corrupt teachers. Other children with dark influence. He is to stand in the chasm between the two and do what is necessary to eliminate the threat. For the protection and preservation of his loved ones. Sadly, there are too many men that have failed them. They pay no mind to their brides because of their pursuit of the “me”. Frustration can sometimes birth desperate needs. Wanderlust knows their weaknesses and has no regrets. They pawn their children on to strangers to raise them. And yes, those brides are complicit. Daycare to preschool to school teachers to coaches and instructors. For the spirit realm we have youth pastors. An entire life of relying on someone else to lead and teach. Then they ask “How did this happen?” when his children emerge from the chrysalis drenched in the filth of the world. Because someone else did the “dirty work”. They were not shepherds that loved the sheep. They were just hirelings. Because these men pursued the salary from dawn until dusk. They pursued the “me” in the few spare hours that they had left. Time cannot be rewound.

Sadly many of these men do not just drop the ball at paying mind to the threats that knock on their front door because of their disengagement and selfish pursuits. They also become the threat themselves. Their selfish mind causes them to become abusive to those in his care. Because the tide doesn’t rise to his liking, there is physical and emotional abuse. And, sadly, sexual. Inebriated by the burdens of Life, and/or alcohol. For whatever reason they lose sight of what is important. Of what their task is at hand. Hateful words and hurtful fists. They then are no longer the guardian to his loved ones. But his loved ones need a guardian to protect them against him. He is the threat that needs to be eliminated. However, Love runs deep. A repentant man can redeem himself and become the hero of the day yet again. But he needs to first turn his eyes inward and defeat his selfish heart. He needs to confess his Sin and seek help. To tear down himself and rebuild. Sadly many men cannot stop their dance with Pride and self long enough to be broken. They cannot let go enough to be holding on to the last thread of Hope.

This all pales in comparison to what a Man should be. He is fully incapable of grasping the concept of Provider and Protector without the saving power of The Cross. To truly understand the love of God and the sacrifice of Christ opens his eyes. He understands that it is no longer about him, but it is about someone else. That he must decrease for the sake of another. To provide for more than temporal earthly needs, but for the spiritual as well. To protect for more than their bodies and minds, but for their wayward hearts as well. All of which leads to the foot of the tree of Calvary. All others hold their place in importance. But they are as fleeting as Time and our corruptible flesh. What truly matters are the things that will carry on after our days have become dust.

But what about the man that has penned these words? Who is he to speak? I can assure you that he does not have it figured out. Time is his worst enemy. He was never given an example as he was raised apart from any semblance of Faith. His own father spent much time in and out of bars and chasing women. Therefore he struggles. He does not know what to do with what God has given him. Both in Word and Time. He bears the guilt upon his shoulders as his family sees the sun set and rise on his failure to lead. He stares at his worn and tired eyes in the mirror as he begs for more time. Something that he cannot get back. Something that neither stops nor slows down for anyone. But his difference from men is that there is no indifference. For his heart hungers to die to himself for their sake. To fully kill the “me” that he may stand fully equipped, Sword and Shield in hand. He has no desire to hide away by the time clock for more than what is required. He has no desire to hide on the course or before a television in a cave somewhere. No desire to be with “the boys”. For life strips him of more time than he would like to confess. Something that cannot be bought. Something that he cannot take back. He has yet to learn how to force Life to bow to Time. But it is important to note that this is his desire. For the sake of them that look to him for the provision and protection for that which is everlasting.

For the “Them”. Not the “me”.