“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation…”

-The Apostle Paul, The Epistles to Corinth

Strip me raw and burn away this dross, for death has beckoned me again. The warmth of my flesh has escaped me. Cobwebs blanket me, struggling to hold back the cold. Midnight cradles me as its shadow stares on, curious if life has rediscovered me. Hopeless. From time to time a twitch. An effort at living within my own strength. The weight of sin has burdened me to the ground. Arise no more. Shackled to the dust as the air grows thin. Roaches visit from time to time and converse with the rat as vultures circle with uncertainty. A gasp occasionally stirs, scaring them all into the shadows. Then they slowly creep back. They always come back. Always.

Another storm is birthed on the horizon. The rain washes away yesterday, only to expose time standing still. Footsteps disrupt the silence. Broken rhythm is the only comfort that they offer. Sometimes there is one. Sometimes there are many. The only song I hear. The beasts roam the darkness.

Do you see this stain behind me? It is here that it went wrong.  Where my step faltered. Where they caught up to me. Where I drew my last. When the warmth escaped me. Filth is always opportunistic. He poured over me like the rising tide, encasing my soul like a grave. Distortion forced the pieces to fit no more. How great the distance! Forgotten? A faint echo offers false comfort, begging the question, “Hello?”. A voice my own. I yearn to be broken. To pour out Guilt. 

“My Lord, My God!” I remember a man once spoke those words. Life is my dying wish. Dead men have no such thing. Bound to stone by death, its chains embrace me with love. That is the vow. To cherish me until it tears me apart. I vow hate with unbridled passion. Our marriage is twisted. Strip me raw and burn away this dross, that I may set my eyes upon the dawn. Midnight forever casts unseen shadows. I’m tired. I’m weary. God, here I am. I am open. I am yours.

Only within the caverns of my soul could I reach upon Heaven and rend it. To squeeze with every ounce of strength until Salvation pours over me. Until His flood allows me the pleasure of watching Death drown. To tear open the sky to bear witness to the Son once more. Only within the shell of my heart could I shatter this world by screaming…

 “My Lord, My God! Save me!!!”

The sky ripped in twain and encompassed me with light, chasing Darkness away. The cold released its grip as warmth enveloped my soul, igniting the flame within. My chest tore open, releasing Death. Life returned to the blackened heart, commanded by The Great Physician. Dust became the tomb, crushed by the weight of unending grace. The chains that so lovingly strangled me with passion? Undone by The Master’s hand. This wasn’t part of their plan. 

“Breathe again Child. Breathe.” 

And then I set my eyes upon the dawn.